you wont understand how im feeling...

2010-08-22T01:09:00.002+08:00

每个女孩子，其实都很清楚知道的，选择爱自己的人才会不受伤，去追自己爱的人一定会受伤一定会心痛，因为每个人都告诉过她，主动的女孩不会被珍惜的……　　

然而，她还是会因为喜欢你，鼓起勇气告诉你她对你的依恋，还是像飞蛾扑火一样为你受伤为你付出……　　

男孩子一定要清楚地知道，其实，倒追你的她，绝不是一个没有人爱的女孩，她身后会有很多仰慕者，她只是想把握自己心里的爱，因为她是那么认真对待爱情的人啊，也许对于别的所有人来说，你就是一个很普通的人，可是对于她来说，就算你有那么多的缺点，她也全部包容，愿意留在你身边，不管现在的你是否一无所有……　　

也许她会是你一生不会再遇到第二次的女孩，也是笨拙的你怎么努力都追不到的那种好女孩，是失去了以后再也找不回来的天使……　　

她曾经是无泪的天使，遇见你，为了你放弃了无泪的天堂……

每个女孩一生也许只有那么一次鼓起勇气来爱一个男孩。如果你生命中遇到过这样的女孩，如果你可以做到，请珍惜她，就像所有的其他的男孩子珍惜一个女孩子一样珍惜她……

如果你心里曾对她动过心，曾经心疼她，请好好珍惜她，不要把她的心伤害成她自己再也无法拼接的碎片；不要总是说对她愧疚；不要总是告诉她你永远想念她……　　

可知道她的勇气是拼尽全力换来的。只为说出那几个字，已然用尽所有……如果不是那么爱你，她不会傻到放下身边很多优秀的男生去向你表白；如果不是那么在乎你，她不会不顾家人的反对要和你在一起；如果不是把你当作最后的赌注，她会不要自己的尊严？　　

请珍惜她，也许你一辈子也不会再遇到这样为了你放弃尊严的女子。也许你是她第一个，也是最后一个愿意放下尊严的男人；因为她也怕受伤啊！所以，珍惜她，也许你会觉得没有了自己的男子汉的气魄，但请相信你得到的会远远超出你认为的失去的东西，其实你并不会失去什么。　　

请尊重倒追你的女孩，因为她值得你这么做。她的勇敢，她的决然，她的气魄，都是你无法想象的，她比你勇敢，比你坚强，甚至比你潇洒，拥有这些优秀品质的女孩难道不值得你去爱？　　

请珍惜倒追你的女孩，因为你在还没有注意到她的时候她已然深深的爱上了你，她默默的念着你，装作不在乎的打听着关于你的一切，然后了解你的爱好和梦想，努力成为能够配得上你的人，为此你不知道她付出了多大的努力，也许是开始关心起你的爱好，比如足球，篮球这类她本不擅长的运动皆因为你而拼命学习；也许是开始减肥，男生都不知道，减肥是一件多么需要毅力的事情，如果一个女生因为你而减肥成功，那么你就可以考虑娶她（看下《减到95斤我就娶你》就明白了），因为各种艰苦汗水泪水都是绝对的证明；也许是开始打探你的各样联系方式，因为她希望能够与你有更多的接触；也许是开始关注你所关注的事情，因为她不想在思维上跟不上你；也许……　　

你知道一个女生要拥有飞蛾扑火般的勇气需要累积多久吗？所以你一定要有耐心等待那个真正爱你的女孩，好吗？你可知道她需要背负什么样的心理包袱吗？她难道就没有考虑过如果被你拒绝后她怎么来面对剩下的局面吗？她不怕被朋友们所笑话吗？你知道一个女生要从你身上转移开注意力需要多久吗？有一句话叫做，一见钟情的往往是男人，而一往情深的往往是女人……你知道让一个女孩放弃一个心爱的男生是可以做怎么样的比喻吗？如果你知道一个词叫做骨肉分离便知道了……　　

她只是想像一个普通的小女孩一样，呆在所爱的男孩身边，不要离开，没有遗憾……如果有一天，她带着伤成碎片的心离开，一切就再也来不及了……

2010-07-18T20:48:00.004+08:00

你们
如果我说我很对不起，你们会原谅我吗？
如果我说我只是一时冲动，你们会回到我身边吗？
如果我说我害怕面对事实，你们会体谅吗？
如果我说我伤心／难过，你们会关心我吗？
如果我说我有心事，你们会耐心的听我说吗？
如果我说我不想分享秘密，你们会介意吗？
如果我说我想要回到以前那样，你们说可能吗？
如果我说我害怕，你们会保护我吗？
如果我说我遇到困难，你们会帮我吗？
如果我说我有难题，你们会帮我解吗？

你
如果我说我对不起，你会理解吗？
如果我说我发简讯，你会回复吗？
如果我说我心痛，你会了解吗？
如果我说我伤心，你会上前来关心我吗？
如果我说我忘了你，你会忘了我吗？
如果我说我离开了，你会想我吗？
如果我说我舍不得你，你会舍不得我吗？
如果我说我在开玩笑，你会当真吗？
如果我说我想你，你会知道吗？
如果我说我喜欢你，你会拒绝吗？

2010-04-05T21:24:00.002+08:00

I'm tired... really tired.
both physically and mentally..

Firstly, why is it so difficult to re-accept me?
Secondly, why just cant i tell you how i feel?
Thirdly, why i just cant seems to tell you that i like you?
Fourth, why is it liking a person so difficult?
Fifth, why confessing to a person is difficult too?
Sixth, why is it being a friend of someone so difficult?
Seventh, what can i do to make this matter end?
Eighth, what can i do to hint that i like you/
Nineth, what thing should i give you?
Tenth, why you dont seems to understand me?
all i want is you to understand...

XDXDXD
i hope there's a miracle=]

2010-04-01T18:02:00.002+08:00

I'M BACK!!!

these few days kinda tired...no mood..:X
i really wondered why?

why?
i dunno?
avoid?[what i always did](but who?)
trying to be brave?
emo-ing?
trying to put a smile?

i jus hope time pass faster... let everything over...
SOON!!!
i will be happy again and HAPPY...

2010-03-08T23:55:00.002+08:00

HELLOS!!! I'm back!

lets start talking...

On Saturday, 6 march...
i went to amelia's house to do the lit project.... we meet at J8 at 10 am!!! im late!! yet..im the first to reach...followed by venus thn rena and amelia... madeleine was the last to reached as she was still sleeping when we called her... we asked her to come at 11am instead... thn i went to eat breakfast... hahas... we forgave madeleine yet she kept saying 'sorry'. hahas...
madeleine, seriously its okay=]

thn we went to ntuc to take cardboard frm thn 'aunties'..hahas... and they gave us.. we brought some snacks too... and drinks... i wanna treat them but they refuse..thn i only treat venus with apple juice...=] finally, we went to the mrt staion...i cnt go in!!!! cos ez-link card no money...need at least five dollars...sian.. after that i only left with 2 dollars?... hahas... unlucky day...
...
...
at about 3pm, i went off to pcps...to play vball? hahas.. my friends were there, the guys... Ryan, javier and tetsu...plus my juniors...=] all very good de... and the anderson players..=]
unfortunately, Han fel when receiving a ball? and injured her ankle... hope she's fine...cos she still have competition to go.. take care=]
alright... thats all ...
as for sunday, is a unfortunate day for me...
haiz..
seee yaaa thn...=]

2010-02-27T08:22:00.004+08:00

It a new day. A new start. what shld i do?...
sleep?
eat?
drink?
swallow?
munch?
bite?
blink?
breathe?
move?

NONONO... i shld think of someone else instead... AHAHAHAs.
on thursday, 25 feb, the b boys went for their competition. against geylang methodist...
and WE WON
HAHAHAHAS... actually geylang methodist is an easy team..[for the b boys]...

i found out an unbelievable news... it is that...
CATHOLIC HIGH LOST TO GEYLANG METHODIST!!![C div]
i was like... OH MAN~ how is it possible?*shocked*
so sad... hope 7 is not sad...lols

then, on firday, 26 feb, the c boys went for competiton... and lost to dunmun high...
NVM guys...ur did ur very best le... jiayous next time... =]

erm... ytd went to venus's house do chinese project... [still haven finish..] haiz... by today must hand in sio... sian diao.. at venus's house, very fun... Lucky, the dog, very very very cute!!! hahas.. if have time, i sure will go visit them again...
thats all.. i go chiong hw le... see ya<3

2010-02-21T19:07:00.003+08:00

Yesterday, i went back to peichun..to play vball.. hahas... alot juniors are there... parents too... hahas..i feel old there... but not..until the anderson c girls is there... my friends are there...Cally and Vanessa Han... hahas... i played with them as well as the juniors and anderson sec 1s... hahas...
it was quite fun ytd.. and i hope to go back peichun on saturdays as many times as possible..hahas...
i think it is enough for today... byes...

2010-02-19T18:56:00.000+08:00

OH YEA!!! the b boys won!!! they got first!!!!FIRST!!! first time in 12 years that amkss got 1st!
when we reached Delta sports hall, the c division guys already finished their match... and the b boys is warming up..
The stupid bus driver drive soo damn slow...then made us missed the c boys match... the c boys is Catholic high against Fairfield...hahahs... Of course, Catholic high won!! *clap clap* i went there to see shuai ge... and i found one...hahas... is a catholic high guy lah... i called him SUNNY!! hahas... all my friend know who is he...[dun worry...i dun like him...neither he will like me..HAHAHA!!]
blah blah blah...
*beep peep!*
The b boys match started... the first match was close... but still we won!! WOOHOO!
half of the sport hall is crowded with amksians!!! we all cheered and cheered... soo noisy! hahas...
hmmm... the second match is better! but eventually... kinda close too... but is better tthan the first match... hahas
Congrats to b boys!!!
...

2010-02-01T21:30:00.001+08:00

Aiya... i will jus post a bit thn go..hahas..

hmmm... think if hav anything to say... ...

today go Raffles Institution.. for the NSG opening ceremony... u will ask...wats NSG?
is is the National Schools Games opening... hahas..
doing dnt now.. sian sia.. no ideas.. jus thn... Jelene...my senior gave me an wonderful idea.. and solved all my problems... WONDERFUL SENIOR>.. as well as HUMOROUS senior.. hahas... and luo suo also... hahas..
kidding..

kays.. that all.. byes.. rushing.. hahas.. bb

will post longer nxt time. hehee..=]

2010-01-29T20:50:00.002+08:00

WOW!
i so many days nv post le....
haix...
many things happened during the week...

First, we lost to Outram when we are not supposed to?[sad]

Second, we went to blk 212 to serve the elderly[s] with tea...kopi...milo..
lucky that day i brought milo...
if not the auntie will have to drink her own plain water...hahas...
seriously..alot auntie..ah mah... uncles..ah gong there... malays aunties also...
i think the malays aunties have abt 10 to 8 ppl... which is taken cared by Nadiah and Shamilah!! woohoo...WONDERFUL! good job..!
if for me and one other person..i sure cnt make it de...
we took some pictures... i lazy post... maybe next time..

Thirdly, i very tired after the match yesterday...
after against[ing] Outram... i went to Ai Tong to watch my juniors...
hahas
they won...!!!
OH YEA Baby!
hahas...
...
after that... i have slight fever!><
sad sia...still must go tution...
sian...
when i returned frm tution, my temperature dropped...tp 36.2... hahas
im fine le...jus that sore throat only...

okays... thats all.. lazy to continue le... next time bah..

2010-01-22T21:54:00.003+08:00

okokays... hahas...
im jus being retarted... dun care me
hahas...
im laughing...
lols...[sot le]
too much pressure...

hahas.. dun play le..*cough cough*
...

today...we hav our physical trg...
damn tiring...
muscleache all over my body...hahas
take the weight...[7.5kg each side]
it might be light to guys but is HEAVY to girls..[actually still okay lah..]
today mdm yau din come...also dunno why?sick?
if mdm yau not there thn who's training us?
KAIYUAN lah...
standard de...=.=
everything...every station must do 150 times!!!
cn u imagine it?
hahas...
hav to run 15 rounds...
but all have shout...* AngMoKio ACE!!!*
hahas... thn too noisy... hahas
nvm... still..very good!

kk...byes..mom nagging now..
bb...seeya!

2010-01-22T21:45:00.002+08:00

hey yos!!! I'm BACK!!!
we won our match [tues,19jan] to bukit merah...!!! WONDERFUL! of course very happy... thn...
two days later...

We lost to YUYING!!!!
argghhh... all of us play until crazy...i mean is until not happy... keep losing...finally...*whistle*
we lost by 2-0!!!
now hoping yuying lose to outram[dunno spell correctly not]...which is impossible!!..
be prepared to be out!...
i dunno lehs.. hope nxt thurs cn win outram...thn the chance of being out is lesser...lower...

hope YUYING lose!!![no offence]
*pray pray pray*
*pray every now and then*
*pray every min*
*pray every sec*
jus *pray* will do...=.-
hahas>..

SENIORS:
pls dun be discouraged..hope ur do better nxt year!jiayous![if only u see this]

2010-01-18T20:21:00.003+08:00

Today, im really stress, pissed and angry... i dunno why, it jus cnt be explain... i feel like crying... today trg, i saw the girls playing balls... i feel that why cnt htey make use of the playing time to help to set up the court?...
haiz... i dun wish to continue le...

jus... keep it to myself will do...haiz....

2010-01-16T20:08:00.002+08:00

每当我拥有这感觉，我就很痛苦，很难受！
你让我感觉到孤单伤心。。。

我该怎么办？
你能回答我吗？
u dun understand!

2010-01-16T16:06:00.003+08:00

think think think... dunno? i really! seriously dunno... i cnt tell u... i cnt fight for u... if i do...i will have betrayed my friends...
i msg u...
we talked a lot... hahas... so funny... but from deep inside my heart, i wanna say i like you.. hahs.. so silly of me...
i really dunno why is it gona be u...
dunno...
i shouldnt like you.. but i did..
its only recently.. whn i found out that i like you..
hahas
all crap...
all rubbish!...
see ya...
one-sided love is always like this de... so sad, so xin ku...
sometimes may feel like having difficulties in breathing...

2010-01-16T16:04:00.001+08:00

hahas.. i now at library using com... lols... so cold sia... forgotten to bring jacket...>< CoLD... hahas..
btw cnt online too long.. hahas.
gtg..<3 loves... hahas.. ltr go home post again

2010-01-15T21:30:00.002+08:00

hahas..another day has past.. today training vry tiring... whole body muscle ache.. heehee...even if we lost to cedar, that doesnt matter anymore... its over... jus hope to fight hard for the nxt few games... hahas...

Now:
too tired...

too sleepy...

too excited...

all kinds of feelings mixed together<3

2010-01-14T17:56:00.002+08:00

aaaarrrgggghhh............. lost to cedar...(sad).. nvm.. at least we did our best... hope we'll do better on monday... hahas.. against bukit merah... hahas
kaiyua wanna us to win... hahas...
thats all...>>> going for tution>>>
jiayous for boys too!

2010-01-13T20:09:00.002+08:00

Such a tiring day... trg again.. today kai yuan said my receiving improve..Woohoo..! finally he praised me>>hahas.. he trained me, venus, yujing, lydia and karine... i must stand at position 1 thn when he spike/serve the ball, i must run after it and receive it high enough for the setter.... btw.. jiawen, the setter, is one of the poor thing..she must run here run there to receive the ball... at six, jiawen, jeanna and yingying when off.. to TUTION! hahas
thn poyin took over her... hahas..
tmr competition..very stress but excited<3
cedar vball player, have two is my good friends.. hahas
okays thats all.. too tired to continue...

2010-01-12T21:49:00.003+08:00

i took this when they are playing volleyball yesterday.. i was at second floor waiting for mdm yau to pass me the volleyball south zone fixtures. hahas.. the senior also got stay back... other then the seniors, there are alvin, zhenxin, elton, bryan and don! girls hav me, tinwing, venus, jiawen, yujing, lydia and karine..
that day, karine wanna being ks by alvin.. thn she not happy, go kick alvin's buttock..(hahas) thn alvin dunno wat happrn..(angry or wat..) go spike the ball against karine's face.. i was like.. 'OUCH!' of course.. karine cried.. we comfort her.. but was like very happy that she was hurt(shhhh..dun tell her!) hahahs.. thn i jiu go home le.. i still wanna stay to play but my mom dun allow=<.. go with...zixin,denies and andrea. hahas! so happy!

2010-01-12T21:04:00.002+08:00

Hi EvErybody! u all may wonder why i made my blog to public.. hahas.. is becos there's nth to hide anymore..=> hahas..but that doesn't mean that i hid a lot of things last time.. hahs. i may not be able update my blog so frequently le... as my tournament is coming... tests is coming too.. maybe in abt a few weeks time.. scare sia.. streaming year is always different. hahas..

2010-01-08T22:23:00.002+08:00

你现在对我来说，已经不再重要了。。。

你已成了我生命中的一部分；

人生中的一部分。。。

这些都已经成为过去了。。。

忘了吧。。。！

2010-01-06T21:03:00.002+08:00

So Stress... i wanna to get to better class in sec 3... this year streaming year sia... everyday do assessment until eleven in the night... so tired... wanna give up.... but now cnt le... competing with Elton...in the mid-year exam...must start revising and do watever i know... hope to get A1 for maths and chinese... A2 for geo..(if i cn..) B4 for english and science... the rest pass jiu can le..haahas.. also not sure if i cn get it... i will do my best to improve my studies...

2009-12-31T21:35:00.002+08:00

Today kanna by my brother.. so sad sia. feel like killing myself, making myself wake up.. but nth seems to work on me.. eventually, i realised i dun really like volleyball alot.. just that i cant quit and must play for the next few years.. i tried to work hard to jump and spike but i JUS CANT DO IT! i really hate myself... got one ball, i wanted to receive but the setter come towards me suddenly then...BOOM! my two knees bang towards the floor.. Ouch! i really wanted to cry out that time but i din. i jus bear with it... i was like became very emo after that... then, my brother today also not very happy with our performance, then train until half-way, call all of us keep the net. i was really angry and sad that time...therefore i din say anything...haiz.. thats all.. see ya when school reopen...><

2009-12-31T20:38:00.002+08:00

more pictures to go...

2009-12-31T20:34:00.002+08:00

Beautiful sun, isn't it?
this is taken at east coast park on 10 dec, tgt with my primary school volleyball friends.

2009-12-03T15:05:00.002+08:00

More Pics... My Friends...at the YOG learning centre<3

2009-12-03T14:40:00.001+08:00

i have nothing to say so maybe jus post some pictures<3...

this is my small little cousin<3 cute!

2009-09-22T22:27:00.002+08:00

I remembered this.. Rena bought it for me when there's no curry puff... of course i didnt eat haha.. this was long ago pictures... because nth to say so, i put this up><

2009-07-14T21:28:00.002+08:00

today, Rena, Venus, Madeleine, Amelia and i became sisters...
i am the biggest although not the oldest...
the second is Rena, Third is Venus, Fourtth is Amelia, Last is Madeleine... very fun during english SSRP.. five of us we playing... not so called playibg.. is like.. shooting words...
srry thats all for today.. mom is coming..

2009-07-10T16:35:00.001+08:00

不够成熟
我想我还是不够成熟
还达不到你的要求
我真的没有想的太多
只是怀念你走以后
离开难道真的是解脱
难道真的要事过境迁了以后才懂
倔强说不痛假装什么伤都没有
倔强抬起头决不让眼泪往下流
真的不难过笑着和你挥挥手
如果有一天我们有缘再见
你会不会想起说过的永远

2009-07-10T16:33:00.002+08:00

发呆
眼睛睁不开你的理由不精采
冰融了一块还是听的不明白
阳光有点歪马路开始塞
你搭配的表情让我发呆
Maybe 在乎的人就是活该
我的难过说不出来
对你不理不睬是否相信就能够不存在
也许再过一个礼拜
你会想念我的依赖
到时候我不敢保证还为你等待
Do you mind
手表忘了戴你的沉默太慷慨
撑不住脑袋前前后后像钟摆
你表现无奈我并不想猜
这冻结的温度让我发呆
Maybe 在乎的人就是活该
我的难过说不出来
对你不理不睬是否相信就能够不存在
也许再过一个礼拜
你会想念我的依赖
到时候我不敢保证还为你等待
Do you mind
你表现无奈我并不想猜
这冻结的温度让我发呆
Maybe 在乎的人就是活该
我的难过说不出来
对你不理不睬是否相信就能够不存在
也许再过一个礼拜
你会想念我的依赖
到时候我不敢保证还为你等待
Do you mind

2009-07-10T16:28:00.000+08:00

《伤声》
是否以沉寂太多时刻
整夜展转反彻
看不清的现实已经把我双眼闭合
脑中不段想着时间应该怎样经过
因为抵触这种感觉失去总是太多
没人对我说谁会应为我而微笑
我张开双手想紧握希望最后只有失望
信念与现实的冲撞让我遍体鳞伤
感情背后的伪装知道不再提到
还是默默放弃继续这样
再也不提谁会感到忧伤
挥舞的双手有原因的借口
说出了口你还是转身要走
电话里的歌声打动不了心声
想的想的想的太多眼泪一滴都不剩/
还只能继续掩饰心声
我带上耳机调大音量听着忧伤歌声
你知不知道我默默再祈祷
有一天你会回到我怀抱
你听不听到忧伤的歌声
始终在我耳边轻轻萦绕
我说我理解不了你给我的这种微笑
让我在无时无刻都在期盼你的怀抱
也许再也不会一起做在海盗船上
也许再也不会听见你在恐怖屋大声叫
那时的感觉真的很奇妙
我不希望因为时间而会把她遗忘
你想想象中的我不是这样
最后那天我看着你你对我笑
DEPP FEEL你能听懂我在想
想象着一切假设的可能防止又受伤
但是认识时间不长你又怎能理解
这段时间用尽心血所做的一切
为了一个答案追到海角天边
EVER DAY我都在等待那一天
但是时间过的太慢年龄永远不会变
留给我的只是一个残缺的怀念
你知不知道我默默再祈祷
有一天你会回到我怀抱
你听不听到忧伤的歌声
始终在我耳边轻轻萦绕
你让我怎样讲怎样听怎样说也不知道
只是这样并不能够把过去遗忘
如果说是受伤我能感觉这是一种需要
听着这首歌此刻你的心里会是怎样
嘴里说你知道心里感觉不到
内心虽然忧伤表面依然如往惆怅
忧伤的歌声说不出什么华丽辞藻
听着这首歌此刻你的心里会是怎样
你知不知道我默默再祈祷
有一天你会回到我怀抱
你听不听到忧伤的歌声
始终在我耳边轻轻萦绕
你知不知道我默默再祈祷
有一天你会回到我怀抱
你听不听到忧伤的歌声
始终在我耳边轻轻萦绕